I love you but I don’t love you enough and I don’t love you in the way you need and want and we’re both unhappy because you want more than I have and I want to but I can’t
I love you but I don’t love you enough and I don’t love you in the way you need and want and we’re both unhappy because you want more than I have and I want to but I can’t
Having the ultimate self-pity party right now
“I’m always there for everyone when they’re sad and no one notices when I’m sad”
Shut up, pathetic
Could really really really do with a hug right now
A part of me still really wants to be one of those really skinny girls
It’s really tiring having to constantly convince yourself something
Tumblr is always and at the same time such a source of strength and inspiration and the rest, but also really really triggering
You’re the loveliest thing.
there are two stupid mistakes i always seem to make
- thinking love will “cure” me
- having one “good” day and thinking i am fully recovered
Today I had counselling. It was really really good. I’m really glad I went. He said a lot of things I’m not bothered to talk about now. He did say an interesting thing about how I seem very black and white about success/failure though, which I’d never really acknowledged before. Like when I was bad about eating and Dad suggested I go to a counsellor cause I seemed down all the time, I absolutely refused and wouldn’t even entertain the notion cause it would have felt like admitting that I had failed to look after myself. And other things too, but that’s the example I remember. He also said that I seemed to be often motivated by fear - like afraid that Marie would take the “me being too sad” thing badly, afraid to annoy my family, particularly Nicky, afraid to cause a fuss or a row, afraid to open up to people in case I’m a burden, even though I look after all my friends… I’m not sure about it, but I think there’s something there alright.
Anyway, I told him about the eating thing and how that had come back but that I was okay now, and he was all proud. And we talked for ages about my family, but I’ll leave that stuff for another message. My family are barely bothering me these days, whereas they used to be one of the primary causes of stress in my life, cause I’m at Marie’s all the time now. It’s easier to love them from a distance
I love her.
I wish we were all better at being nice to each other why are people all so shit to each other
Like do you not understand that other people are going through shit too and maybe they need a break just as much as you do
